Monday, January 2, 2012

Thanks for Nothing, Mayday Parade


On the trip from Edmonton back to Vegreville on new years morning, I listened to the new Mayday Parade album. My attention span has been drastically shortened by the internet age of instant gratification to the point that I can barely read books anymore, and unfortunately listening to a full album end to end is becoming a rarity for me these days. My rating of this one: 7 out of 10.


That night, I went out to the garage to try to write some music. I settled in at the piano, picked up a pen, and started scribbling on the back of an old lyric sheet for Hedley's "Old School". I wrote a whole song pretty much start to finish, without much planning or changing things along the way. It came out sounding very Mayday Parade. Personally, I don't like it that much. But it's a song that I wrote in the spirit of the moment that I think captures the way I was feeling quite well.


Lyrics below, music soon to follow. Let me know what you think.


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"Thanks for Nothing, Mayday Parade"


Pack my life up in the back of my car

It doesn’t weigh much. The only thing that’s there

Is the weight of the memories that make us who we are.

I don’t have many, but lately I don’t care. Because...


I live at least two lies, and I’m making my way between them.

There’s an archive in my closet of the pieces that fall away.

I try to buy the perfect clothes, and hang them up for exhibition.

But I never wear them. No, I never wear them anyway.


15 bucks an hour is the Good Doctor’s prescription.

Guess it’s working, cause I don’t feel ill.

But I feel down and I feel out, and I have got to figure out

what turned a boy into a man in this position.


I’ve got nothing to say. It’s not like I’m not okay, but...


I live at least two lies, and I’m making my way between them.

There’s an archive in my closet of the pieces that fall away.

I try to buy the perfect clothes, and hang them up for exhibition.

But I never wear them. No, I never wear them...


Bring it on home, bring it on home, bring it on home now.

Bring it on home, bring it on home, bring it on home now.

Bring it on home, bring it on home, bring it on home now.

Bring it on home, bring it on home, bring it on home now.

(I’m an airplane with an anchor, I’m a cancer in remission,

I’m a warrior in battle without any ammunition.

I’m a lawyer, I’m a liar, I’m a sleasy politician,

I’m a celebrated future man that lives in contradiction.)


I live at least two lies, and I’m making my way between them.

There’s an archive in my closet of the pieces that fall away.

I try to buy the perfect clothes, and hang them up for exhibition.

But I never wear them. No, I never wear them anyway.



Sunday, January 1, 2012

Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year.


Happy new year! For my new years celebration, I watched the Canada vs. USA World Junior game, ate too much stuffed crust pizza and chips with salsa con queso, and got wasted while playing Mario Party 7 and 007: Nightfire on Gamecube with 4 other dudes. What did you do?

When I made my New Years plans, I was upset at how lame they were. New Years, I thought, should be spent at an awesome party with lots of people (read: lots of girls) dancing, drinking, and generally being as social as possible. There should be a kiss at midnight. It should be the opposite of staying in and playing old video games with a few other guys.

Looking back at the night, I'm still think it was pretty lame in principle, but I'm not upset about it anymore. Sure, I definitely could have made much more of one of the calendar's cardinal party nights. But unlike in the past, I recognize that not doing so was a result of my own lack of initiative, and not some innate social failing. I could have gone out, been social, kissed at midnight, and partied the night away if I'd made an effort to, and I know that I'd have kicked ass doing it. Since I don't have to prove that to myself anymore, I can accept the night the way it happened. I rang in the new year surrounded by friends, and I had a great time. That's more than a lot of people can say.

I plan to go twice as hard at the first King's party this term to make up for it.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I Want It That Way





Tonight a girl called me picky.

"You're such a picky person!" she said.
"Oh really? What am I picky about?"
"Everything! You're picky about food, about music, and even about people."

I've been called far worse things than picky before, and I had just been teasing her about her taste in music. But for some reason it hit a sore spot, I wasn't ready to move on.
"What if I just have high standards?" I asked. "What's the difference between being picky and having high standards?"
"Nothing" she replied. "Except high standards usually means you're looking for something."

High standards usually means you're looking for something.

This girl hit the nail on the head by calling me picky. Don't even try to feed me coffee, tomatoes, mint, or salad dressing. I probably hate your music. In the cases of food and music, I know what I like. I make a habit of trying foods or music I don't think I'll like or that I didn't like in the past, on the off chance that I discover something good. But by and large, I'm an excellent judge of my own tastes. I have high standards, because I know what I want and I'm actively separating the chaff looking for it. However, in the case of judging people, by this girl's definition, its definitely pickiness.

I'm quick to zoom in on someone's faults. Find a too many or too glaring faults, and I have very little difficulty writing off that person altogether. It's like I'm looking for reasons to disqualify people from being worth my attention. If the person isn't tailor-made to suit my taste, I don't usually even bother to remember their name. It's a very limiting way to approach one's social life, but its not like mean to do this. It happens by default, unless I actively work against it.

It goes double for girls. I'm really harsh with my deal-breakers, perhaps overly so. Smoking cigarettes, or an annoying laugh, or a stupid comment made in class, or a boring vibe, or even an interest in horses is enough to extinguish my interest in a girl. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with these deal breakers, but I've realized that I'm approaching from the wrong angle entirely. I'm focussing on the negatives, looking for a reason to give her a failing grade. I'm constantly ignoring a girl's beautiful qualities, and writing her off because she doesn't look good in that hoodie she always wears. Maybe if I approached from the positive angle, I'd be too caught up in a girl's positive traits to mind so much that she listens to Top 40 music.

So it's undeniable that I'm picky with people. I'm not looking for something good in particular, only picking out things I don't like. Now I've got figure out what it is I'm looking for, so I can turn my pickiness into high standards.








Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Adventure Final



Yesterday, completely out of the blue, I decided it was adventure time. I strapped on my rollerblades, pointed myself west into the city, and set out to see how far I could go.

My adventure turned out exactly how I hoped it would. I navigated residential areas, parks, bike trails, and dormant construction zones. I discovered smooth and winding longboarding hills, an adorable splash park, dozens of beautiful viewpoints, and storms of falling yellow leaves. I navigated by dead reckoning, paying to attention to street numbers or signs, and got my bearings from the tops of hills, like a modern-day voyageur traversing a landscape of raging concrete rivers.

The morning before the adventure was spent at The King's Interdisciplinary Studies Conference. Classes are cancelled for two days, and all students attend seminars, sessions, and speeches in the gym, then write a for-credit pass/fail paper on what they learned. The keynote speaker referenced the 10,000 hour rule, and put it into the perspective of making a 2-hour per day commitment to practicing something. His money quote was "you need to pick something that you can imagine doing for 2 hours a day, every day for 10 years, and still truly get joy out of it".

The adventure provided a few solid solitary hours to think and discuss this with myself. I tried to think of what I would want by 2 hour a day activity to be. I had to go all the way back to the very basics of the question: "what do you like to do?" Whenever I'm asked this question, I answer with "sports and music", which I think is a pretty decent answer. As far as I can tell, those are two of my favorite, if not my two very favorite activities. But what I realized yesterday is that I don't actually do either one of them very much.

Over the first few weeks of the semester, I've settled into my day-to-day pattern. As it turns out, I've spent probably less than 15 minutes a day, on average, on either one of my two favorite things. Instead, my free time has largely gone toward watching movies and TV shows, playing video games, and wasting time on the computer. I spend at least a couple of hours every day on some combination of these things. But yesterday, looking out across the river from the top of Connors Hill, I decided that it had to stop.

I mentally drafted and signed a pact with myself. It has two sections, one outlining the three things that I will no longer waste my spare time on, and the other outlining the three things I will replace them with. This is the pact:

Section 1) Things I Will Not Do Anymore

A) Movies and TV
- No more watching movies or TV shows unless it serves a direct social purpose. That means I will not watch by myself, or even if my roommates are sitting around watching in the middle of the day. I will only watch if it can truly be described as having a direct social function.
- The exceptions: I can watch all Oilers and Eskimos games, from the start of the 30 minute pregame show to the end of the postgame recap.

B) Video Games
- No more playing video games unless it serves a direct social purpose. That means no more playing by myself. I will only play multiplayer games with a direct social purpose.
- The exceptions: Game nights at Nolan's, COD with the roommates, Pokemon training for a specific tournament.

C) Computer
- No more wasting time on the computer. This includes, but is not limited to: obsessive facebooking, Reddit, stumbleupon, smogon articles for no specific purpose, flash games, etc.
- The exceptions: email, necessary facebook, specific skype dates, blogging, reading friends' blogs, and my five Oilers blogs (Oilersnation, coppernblue, BlackDogHatesSkunks, Lowetide, and mc79hockey)
- Activity directly related to Section 2, such as researching music or dating science, is encouraged.

Section 2) Things I Will Replace Them With

A) Physical Self Betterment
- Playing an organized sport, such as intramurals, Hicks Hockey, shinny hockey, King's hockey, curling, or indoor soccer
- Individual physical activity, such as running, rollerblading, longboarding, skiing, snowboarding, or working out.
- Any activity in preparation, organization, or planning for one of the above.

"No citizen has a right to be an amatuer in the matter of physical training... What a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable." - Socrates

B) Social Self Betterment
- Managing social circle at King's. Apartment visits, King's events, general hanging out.
- Managing social circle outside King's. Anything involving friends from Vegreville, Shad, or MacEwan.
- Activities outside and beyond King's. Bowling, laser tagging, pub night, Whyte Ave, Oilers and Eskimos games, house parties, volunteering, shopping, exploring in a group.
- Researching and practicing dating science. Reading Magic Bullets or other resources, fighting approach anxiety, practicing openers and sets, day and night game.

"... there is no magic bullet to get the women of your dreams. There is no one thing, or even ten things, that you can do that will all of a sudden allow to you reach your full potential... If you've taken care of the fundamentals, any reasonable system can work." - Nick Savoy

C) Musical Self Betterment
- Actively practicing technique on voice, piano, guitar, and drums.
- Expanding Vocal, piano, and guitar repertoire.
- Anything with the intent of getting to play with others.
- Researching, discovering, obtaining, and listening to new music.

"The wise musicians are the ones who play what they can master."
- Duke Ellington


So if you catch me wasting my time on anything in Section 1, slap me across the head and tell me so. This is my life, and it's ending one minute at a time. There's only so many adventures left in me.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Dream On, Dreamer


I subscribe to All Time Low on my facebook feed. They just posted this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NKXSU0FDss

It's part of a series of interviews with popular bands about how they gained their passion for what they do, and how they harnessed that passion into getting to where they are. I watched the interview compilations for a few of my favorite bands including All Time Low, We Are The In Crowd, and Set Your Goals. I could see myself mirrored in every single one of them.

The recurring theme of the interviews was that today's bands would grow up listening to the bands that came before them, and be inspired by what those bands did and what they stood for. For example, All Time Low cited Blink-182, Green Day, and New Found Glory as their inspirations. There was never any grand vision or goal to be "as big as Blink-182". There was only ever a burning desire to play the music they loved, and have fun doing it. Each of the bands whose interviews I watched had a similar story. They would keep playing and keep pushing themselves, never giving up on their passion. With a whole lot of hard work and a whole lot of luck, they're living the dream.

I see myself in them because I had that dream. I vividly remember the first time I heard Relient K, how it blew my mind, and thinking how much I wanted to do what they did. I had my little garage band and played my little local shows. I burned Blink-182 CDs and sang along to them until I knew every lyric. I even went to music school to get my skills to a high level. I wanted it, but it was such a long shot that I guess I never really admitted it to myself.

As a result, I never pursued it wholeheartedly. To admit to myself that to "make it" in a band was my goal, why that would only be to invite failure. What the interviews with All Time Low et al fail to mention is that for every success story, there are hundreds of failures that drop off the map. I guess I couldn't deal with those odds.

Instead, I did the prudent thing. Now I'm going to school to be a doctor, and the odds are good that I'll make it. But in doing so, I'm all but guaranteeing that I'll never be the next Blink-182 or the next All Time Low. Some other group of kids, a bunch of kids who want it worse than me, and are willing to accept the high chance of failure, they'll rise up and take that place that I secretly wanted.

I am going to be successful, but I gave up on my dream to do it. What does that make me?


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

"Meh, It's... something."


I got the afternoon off work today, so I took the opportunity to finish up a project that I've sporadically been working on throughout the summer. Today I finally finished the full-instrumentation recording of my song Iron Rainclothes.

It was a long and arduous process. First, I figured out all the individual parts on their respective instruments, and practiced them until there was a chance I could play them all the way through without screwing up. This was made difficult by the fact that I don't know how to play guitar, bass, or drums very well. After that, I hooked up my macbook to my sound board and recorded every part individually. This was made even more difficult by the fact that I REALLY don't know what I'm doing with recording software, effects, and techniques.

But today, all that came to an end when I put the finishing touches on the vocal harmonies. I'm proud of the result. The song is simple, the playing is simple, and the recording is a hack job if there ever was one, but I'm still proud of it. Hopefully, the next one goes faster and smoother. Ideally, I'd find a few fine fellows who appreciate pop punk music as much as I do, and who could help in the instrumentation department. I have so many ideas for stuff that I simply don't have the skill to get out of those instruments myself.

Here is the song, for your enjoyment. Iron Rainclothes by First Class Honesty!

http://soundcloud.com/first-class-honesty/iron-rainclothes-full

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Things I want to do RIGHT NOW




1. Fly to somewhere with big roller coasters, and ride them all. Repeatedly.

2. Go somewhere hot, with sandy beaches and big waves. Learn to surf on them.

3. Join/start a pop punk band. Tour the nation, become a sensation.

4. Road trip to Chicago and see The Fold live at some tiny obscure venue.

5. Meet The Fold after the show and tell them "I came all the way from Edmonton for your show!" and creep them out a bit.

6. Play pond hockey (in the southern hemisphere, of course).

7. Find one of those places with giant trampolines and high-tech landing mats. Do ridiculously dangerous flips into them.

8. Explore something awesome. It has to be big enough that it takes more than one day, and requires camping out.

9. Play a tabletop RPG. Stay in character, no matter what.

10. Go to an NHL playoff hockey game. Feel the atmosphere. Boo the Canucks.


Notice that none of these involve Vegreville, or residents thereof.