The guest speaker in professionalism class today said something that really stuck with me:

“If you want to be a musician, get out of the business. If you can’t afford NOT to be a musician, if you HAVE to be a musician because its hardwired into you, because its in your blood, then this is a great business to be in.”

This statement struck me because I do want to be a professional musician. However, thats about as far as it goes. I don’t feel any grand, profound, specific need to work in the music business. I just want to, thats all. Music is but one of many talents God has blessed me with, it just happens to be the one I enjoy the most.

I doubt the speaker today was making his statement in the context of God’s plan for a person, but it certainly stirred up the familiar sense of uncertainty on the subject as it pertains to my own life. Since I don’t feel in my heart 100% that I should be pursuing service of God through music, should I be cutting bait and running? If so, where to next?

I write this in the basement of my parents’ house in Vegreville, as I prepare for a weekend of filling out applications, and preparing for auditions for next year’s schooling. Some will be for musical schools, many will not be. Which will I get accepted to? Where will I choose to go? Will God make it clear when the time comes?

The suspense is killing me.