Batting Average

I got rejected again last weekend.

It felt the same as it always does. The best I can describe it is that it's like a kitchen knife stuck up underneath my ribs. A sickly, painful feeling, wrenching deep into the middle of my chest.

Since my pubescent years, I've had my share of crushes. They come and go, some pie-in-the-sky, some down-to-earth. Most pass by unnoticed by anyone but me. Others might find their way to the ears and IM screens of my closest friends. But once in awhile, I step up to the plate. This rarely ends well.

I worked it out, and found that my "batting average" is .091 . Less than 10% is a pretty humbling number, and I was a little taken aback. Bewildered even, as every one of these girls were my good friends, had shown at least moderate signs of interest, and were completely "in my league", so to speak. Further confounding me was that my "on-base-percentage" came out to .500, but I won't get into that.

I'm getting too old for this. I'm sick of being depressed and losing friends over this. I'm afraid I'm getting callous and cold, because even though it hurts just as much every time I pour my heart out and get cast aside, I'm getting over it faster each time. I hate that I'm well practiced at hardening my heart and shoving friends out of it.

I'm sure my girl is out there, I'm not worried about that. But at this rate, I feel like I'll have to ask six or seven different girls to marry me before one says yes.